TL;DR: Dear Parallels. All I want to do is uninstall your fucking product. I do not have the dmg file that it came with, because everyone on the planet WITHOUT a stick up their ass, do not save dmg files. It turns out trying to remove Parallels is like trying to remove cancer. I swear to Flying Motherfucking Spaghetti Ass Monster, I haven't encountered anything this bad since trying to a complete uninstall of the Norton 'suite' of products on Windows XP. It is that epic.
On to the long story:
There was a parallels oriented process that was taking up 100% of my Mac's processor usage (prl_disp_service if you must know), as well as killing my battery. After a kill -9, I figured time to uninstall Parallels, since I haven't used it in over a year, and this particular install is a few versions of OSX old.
I figure parallels has an 'uninstall' function built in like 99% of other apps, or you could just drag the file from 'applications' to your trash can right? Wrong. You need to have the install CD, or the dmg from when you downloaded the app originally (as I did). Who the fuck keeps dmg files around? Nobody does. Ok, so I figure it's a simple matter of looking at how to remove it manually. Absolutely no help from the parallels support pages. They all direct you to 1. Use the CD or 2. Use the dmg, then 3. Do some terminal commands 'after' doing 1 or 2.
Ok, so I do some random googling. Covert dmg to disk windows 10. It appears that no one has done a complete manual uninstall of Parallels Desktop 4 for Mac and lived to tell the tale. There are people on the parallels support forums asking the exact same question, with no response. So I figure let's ask Parallels themselves. Turns out you can't just 'send' them a fucking support request. You have to fill out 5 dropdown menus, read a wall of text about possible existing knowledgebase articles, then click submit, then fill out 12 text boxes and 13 more dropdown menus. But wait, one of the areas to fill out is *support code*. Hmmmm. What is that? Turns out to ask them questions, you pay cashy money. If you've bought a copy of Parallels within the last 30 days, you get to ask questions, any longer than that and it's, 'fuck you, pay more'.
So I figure, alright. Let's download the demo for the latest version of Parallels, upgrade my existing install, then run the uninstaller from THAT dmg. Sounds good right? Oh wait. Their download site is down for maintenance.
I'm pissed enough to just go around my mac and start deleting files. Fuck Parallels.

Uninstall Parallels From Mac Without Dmg Download

Shut down your virtual machine and quit Parallels Desktop. Open your Applications folder and drag the Parallels Desktop icon into the Trash. Empty the Trash. How to use dmg file on ubuntu. Reboot your Mac. Note: Your Windows files and applications won't be affected by this procedure. If you want to remove all the files and application you used in Parallels Desktop, you need to remove the virtual machine, please see KB 5029 for instructions.

Uninstall Parallels From Mac Without Dmg File

DMG files are mounted by your system, like a sort of virtual hard drive. When you’re done installing the application, it’s a good idea to unmount the DMG in Finder. Uninstall Apps on MAC. Removing Parallels Desktop apps is more than just moving them to the Trash — it’s completely uninstalling them.